I'm back! This is a random post.

Sorry Blogspot. I've been avoiding you for quite a long time. I actually wanted to write right after I came back from Honduras (end of Feb), but I was too overwhelmed w/ many emotions and thoughts. I kept postponing, spring quarter started, then I became too busy with school. Yeah they're bunch of lame excuses.



(Ronnie, my super duper hyper 3-yrs-old Maltese)

My good friend had to give up one of her 3 dogs due to special circumstances. Since I had lunch with her and had nothing to do afterwards, I decided to tag along to the animal shelter in Orange. When we got to the shelter, I saw this couple giving up their dog. While they were waiting for a portable cage to arrive, a lady looked gloomy the whole time, petting her dog sadly. When it was time for them to separate, I think the dog knew something was wrong. He/she refused to get into a cage, whimpering and staring at the couple. The couple kissed the dog multiple times, whispered something, then finally the dog got into a cage. The couple walked away, but I saw them hugging each other and crying right next to their car. Then I saw a volunteer carrying that cage away, and the dog looked SO sad. His/her head was down, and didn't make any more noises.

While this whole scene was taking place, I was holding on to my friend's dog while she's filling out papers to give her up. My eyes were tearing up, then I started thinking about how sad I'd be when it's time for me to say bye bye to Ronnie. It won't be for next 7-8 yrs or so, but I know the time will come. For now, I'm sad that I won't be around again, for a long time, when the summer break ends. I know, out of my family, I care for him the most, I walk him, feed him, and pamper him the most. It was like that before I left for ICO too. My parents told me Ronnie became harder to control after I left. *sigh* I'm sad for him, but there's nothing I could do to change the situation. I guess I need to love him extra more while I'm home...

Blizzard!!!

I'm sure it's all over the news, but we just had about 20 inches of snow in Chicago area. It was quite scary last night. I've never seen snow fall that fast and furious. It was snowing horizontally, literally. I thought I'd never associate thunder and lightening w/ snowfall, but I was proven wrong last night. School's been closed since 3pm yesterday, and it'll remain closed tomorrow as well. It stopped snowing today but it's hard to clean up the mess, given that there's no place to put the snow.
If I were a kid, or if I were at HOME home, I'd really love the snow day. But as an adult(?) living in the dorm, I find the snow day inconvenient more than anything. All my exams and lectures are postponed. Finals are coming up in 2 weeks, so I don't know how professors are gonna make them up in such a short period of time. I wanted to get my practical over with, but I have to keep practicing. Cafeteria is closed, so I have to worry about what to eat.

Ah... I'm craving rice, kimchi and a hot jjigae. I haven't had Korean food since I left LA about a month ago.

:(

Yay it's a three-day weekend!

Oh how I waited for this weekend to come! It's so wonderful to relax and watch all the Korean shows without feeling guilty. I have much to study for, but I'm going to put it aside til Monday...

I haven't update this blog for a while. Yeah I've been busy, but honestly, there was nothing to update about. Each day is a blur because I pretty much do the same thing over and over again. I go to class/labs, study and then sleep. I haven't been going to a gym either so I feel pretty gross. Oh how wonderful is a life of a grad student!

Last Friday, my friend and I got together and shared about our struggles. I told her it's getting harder and harder to live as a Christian here. I feel like I'm walking a long road by myself. I've experienced spiritual lows before, but this one seems to be the most dangerous one so far. I've never felt so isolated before, and I don't know how to deal with this change. Last week at church, my small group leader asked me if I wanted to serve. My answer was "I'd love to, but I can't." It's really frustrating and heartbreaking to have a desire to serve but have no means to do so. School's keeping me way too busy and I don't have a car (Hebron is 30-40 min away from ICO). Most of my friends here are non-Christians. What am I suppose to do? If I forget to do QT, who's out there to remind me and keep me accountable? I ask myself if I've been depending on others too much for my spiritual growth...and if I judged my relationship w/ God based on my act of service. I feel like my limbs are cut off so I'm just sitting here helplessly. Oh it's very hard to pray these days... sometimes I feel like I totally forgot how to. If you're reading this, please pray for me that I'd persevere and keep trying. I feel weak and hopeless, but I don't want to ignore this issue anymore. God is constant and faithful. I may walk away from Him but He will never let me go... so I'm taking it step by step...

Anyways, school's getting more fun (and painful at the same time). Workload is insane but things that I'm learning are more relevant to what I'll be doing in future. It's really exciting that I've learned so much in such a short period of time. For example, I met up with my biochem group yesterday to work on a case history. In fall quarter (and even few weeks ago), I had to search what each test result meant. But yesterday I realize I don't have to spend time trying to figure them out anymore! Just by looking at a patient's record, I could diagnose them pretty accurately. I'm sure it's not a big deal to some of my classmates, but I was truly amazed and thankful. It's exciting to imagine how much knowledge I'll have in few years.



Another good news... I'm getting pretty good at direct (except judging the C/D ratio). I can find the optic nerve pretty quickly and I figured out how to find a foveal reflex too. I know direct is not used much in real practice... but still, I'm very proud of myself :)

Pure and white as snow

I love snow. I think it's one of the most beautiful thing God created. Last week, it snowed over night, and when I woke up the next morning, everything was completely covered in snow! So clean, pretty and perfect! Then I thought, "this is how God sees us, pure and white as snow, thanks to Jesus Christ!" Once again, I was thankful to be in cold, windy Chicago... to be reminded of the Gospel once again.

School's keeping me busy as usual. I'm still in library a lot (maybe a little too much) to keep up with the material. Last thanksgiving break totally threw me off, so catching up took a while. I'm excited to go back home in a week (yay!) but I'm scared that I might get behind again...

Anyways, I have something to really thank God for - my friend Alisa (I hope she doesn't mind her name being mentioned here... if she does... too bad, lol) Just an hour ago, we got together, shared our prayer requests, and prayed for one other, and for people in ICO. I'm really thankful that I got closer to her recently because she's so awesome. She loves God, and she has a beautiful voice that always praises the Lord. It's really encouraging to know that she understands how much God means to me, and that she's willing to spend time to pray for me. We both agreed that being a Christian at ICO could be difficult and makes us feel alone. I hope and pray that we make a habit of getting together to pray, because there are so much to pray for!!!

Before I go back to Chi-town...

My flight is at 7pm, so that gives me about an hour to write this blog, get ready, and leave for LAX.
I'm writing this because I realize that yesterday's post had no meat in it. I literally babbled. So here I go again -

I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone that met up w/ me and said hi to me. It was really great to see each one of your faces and hear all the good things that are happening in your lives. I'm very thankful that God led me to each one of you, to be your friend. I look forward to coming back to Cali to see your faces again :)

I'm very thankful for my family. Next to God, they are my foundation, my source of strength and happiness. They allow me have a glimps of how wonderful and lovely the heavenly family will be.

I'm very thankful that I am Korean, and that I could enjoy oh-so-wonderfully delicious Korean food in Los Angeles. I pigged out everyday and I have no regrets :)
I just gotta work out a little harder when I go back to school.

I'm thankful for my dog, Ronnie. He's a troublemaker (he barks too much. but I forgive because I know he's lonely) but I love him dearly. He's too darn cute, especially when he sleeps on my laps.

Most importantly, I'm thankful for the Gospel. I know I'm undeserving, thats why it is so much sweeter. The Gospel promises that being a God's child is infinitely greater than being a world's child. That's why I'm not afraid to be a foreigner to this world. That's why I'm trying to live each day to its fullest.

Once again I look upon the cross that you died. I'm humbled by your mercy and I'm broken inside. Once again I thank you. One again I pour out my life

Gobble Gobble, Babble Babble

I'm so thankful that I get to spend the Thanksgiving Day with my family in warm California. There's no guarantee that I'd be back next year, or the year after, so I'm doing my best to spend as much quality time with my family as possible. I'm looking around, my parents are cooking delicious Korean food (we're having Krn BBQ instead of turkey) and my brother and I are watching NFL football. There are 3 NFL games today, but our TV broke months ago... and my dad is not even thinking of replacing it. So we're stuck w/ bad quality streaming on a desktop. However, I don't complain. It's much better to be home than in cold, windy Chicago.


Chargers are playing against Colts on Sunday night. My brother is confident that Colts would crush the Chargers... I think he's just bitter because he traded Phillip Rivers from his fantasy football team, and he's doing exceptionally well. Hah! My brother made a terrible decision, and it seems like he keep making wrong predictions. We bet $20 so the Bolts better win.

Thank you

Just as the sun rises every morning, You are faithful/

Looking back on fall quarter...

My struggles have been (and will continue to be) balancing studying for school and keeping up with my spiritual walk. Spending so much time at church each Sunday made me anxious because I had 3 exams every week. However, God gave me strength to persevere and do both last quarter. My grades are out, and I am very happy with the result. It's a reassurance that I must have done something right. I'm thankful that I was able to do well in school without sacrificing worship...what God ultimately called me to do. It's crazy because I know that I couldn't have done that without His help. So I look forward to winter quarter (which will start tomorrow). I'm excited to move forward in my education, but all the more, I can't wait to see how much more God will challenge me and grow me. Each day is an adventure, and God is teaching me to depend on Him more and be filled with thankful heart.

God, Aba Father,
Thank you for bringing me to Chicago
Thank you for new friendships
Thank you for ICO... for giving me ability to serve your people
Thank you for Hebron Presbyterian Church - Nazareth
Thank you for answering my prayers
Thank you for keeping me in Your arms, even though I try to run away so many times
Thank you for the cross

I want to love you more and more...