Pure and white as snow

I love snow. I think it's one of the most beautiful thing God created. Last week, it snowed over night, and when I woke up the next morning, everything was completely covered in snow! So clean, pretty and perfect! Then I thought, "this is how God sees us, pure and white as snow, thanks to Jesus Christ!" Once again, I was thankful to be in cold, windy Chicago... to be reminded of the Gospel once again.

School's keeping me busy as usual. I'm still in library a lot (maybe a little too much) to keep up with the material. Last thanksgiving break totally threw me off, so catching up took a while. I'm excited to go back home in a week (yay!) but I'm scared that I might get behind again...

Anyways, I have something to really thank God for - my friend Alisa (I hope she doesn't mind her name being mentioned here... if she does... too bad, lol) Just an hour ago, we got together, shared our prayer requests, and prayed for one other, and for people in ICO. I'm really thankful that I got closer to her recently because she's so awesome. She loves God, and she has a beautiful voice that always praises the Lord. It's really encouraging to know that she understands how much God means to me, and that she's willing to spend time to pray for me. We both agreed that being a Christian at ICO could be difficult and makes us feel alone. I hope and pray that we make a habit of getting together to pray, because there are so much to pray for!!!

Before I go back to Chi-town...

My flight is at 7pm, so that gives me about an hour to write this blog, get ready, and leave for LAX.
I'm writing this because I realize that yesterday's post had no meat in it. I literally babbled. So here I go again -

I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone that met up w/ me and said hi to me. It was really great to see each one of your faces and hear all the good things that are happening in your lives. I'm very thankful that God led me to each one of you, to be your friend. I look forward to coming back to Cali to see your faces again :)

I'm very thankful for my family. Next to God, they are my foundation, my source of strength and happiness. They allow me have a glimps of how wonderful and lovely the heavenly family will be.

I'm very thankful that I am Korean, and that I could enjoy oh-so-wonderfully delicious Korean food in Los Angeles. I pigged out everyday and I have no regrets :)
I just gotta work out a little harder when I go back to school.

I'm thankful for my dog, Ronnie. He's a troublemaker (he barks too much. but I forgive because I know he's lonely) but I love him dearly. He's too darn cute, especially when he sleeps on my laps.

Most importantly, I'm thankful for the Gospel. I know I'm undeserving, thats why it is so much sweeter. The Gospel promises that being a God's child is infinitely greater than being a world's child. That's why I'm not afraid to be a foreigner to this world. That's why I'm trying to live each day to its fullest.

Once again I look upon the cross that you died. I'm humbled by your mercy and I'm broken inside. Once again I thank you. One again I pour out my life

Gobble Gobble, Babble Babble

I'm so thankful that I get to spend the Thanksgiving Day with my family in warm California. There's no guarantee that I'd be back next year, or the year after, so I'm doing my best to spend as much quality time with my family as possible. I'm looking around, my parents are cooking delicious Korean food (we're having Krn BBQ instead of turkey) and my brother and I are watching NFL football. There are 3 NFL games today, but our TV broke months ago... and my dad is not even thinking of replacing it. So we're stuck w/ bad quality streaming on a desktop. However, I don't complain. It's much better to be home than in cold, windy Chicago.


Chargers are playing against Colts on Sunday night. My brother is confident that Colts would crush the Chargers... I think he's just bitter because he traded Phillip Rivers from his fantasy football team, and he's doing exceptionally well. Hah! My brother made a terrible decision, and it seems like he keep making wrong predictions. We bet $20 so the Bolts better win.

Thank you

Just as the sun rises every morning, You are faithful/

Looking back on fall quarter...

My struggles have been (and will continue to be) balancing studying for school and keeping up with my spiritual walk. Spending so much time at church each Sunday made me anxious because I had 3 exams every week. However, God gave me strength to persevere and do both last quarter. My grades are out, and I am very happy with the result. It's a reassurance that I must have done something right. I'm thankful that I was able to do well in school without sacrificing worship...what God ultimately called me to do. It's crazy because I know that I couldn't have done that without His help. So I look forward to winter quarter (which will start tomorrow). I'm excited to move forward in my education, but all the more, I can't wait to see how much more God will challenge me and grow me. Each day is an adventure, and God is teaching me to depend on Him more and be filled with thankful heart.

God, Aba Father,
Thank you for bringing me to Chicago
Thank you for new friendships
Thank you for ICO... for giving me ability to serve your people
Thank you for Hebron Presbyterian Church - Nazareth
Thank you for answering my prayers
Thank you for keeping me in Your arms, even though I try to run away so many times
Thank you for the cross

I want to love you more and more...

His Calling

God's been burdening my heart for quite a while to think about my future. I continue to imagine my future, and try hard to fully grasp where I'm going. Honestly, I'm struggle right now... not because I'm failing school. Actually my grades are all excellent so far. However, I'm tired of studying constantly... and I'm losing my vision. I'm getting lost in all the exams and piles of responsibilities that the school's throwing at me. I'm getting antsy because finals are coming up (this Saturday.

Anyways... my dream. my goal. What is my goal for future? When I was younger, I had more tangible, easier goals, like getting into certain university and graduate school. Now that I'm here in ICO, my future as an O.D. is guaranteed. So I'm thinking, "what's next God? What should my goal be after I graduate?" I'm realizing more and more, through prayer, that His answer is and has been always simple. "work for My Kingdom and My glory"

ICO highly encourages students to get into private practices because that's 1. the fastest way to pay off debt and earn a lot of money; and 2.the best way O.D's reputations go up as primary health provider. I know that's a goal for almost all of my classmates/colleagues... I thought I would be one of them too, but for some odd reason, I'm getting more determined to do something other than private practice. I decided to become an optometrist, not for my personal gain. I don't need to be crazy rich and I don't need to have fame and reputation from the world. I just simply want to worship God through my work. So again, I'm thinking, what should I do with the education I'm receiving so I could be used by Him most efficiently?

God may change my mind in future, but for now, I want to go on doing residency after I graduate ICO. There are few reasons.. 1. I want to obey His calling to be a student, and excel in my studies (mind as well right?) - and good GPA is required to advance to residency (i think). 2. I want to specialize so I don't become just a general O.D. You see general O.Ds everywhere, but not that many specialists are out there. 3. For some reason, I think being a specialist would give me more opportunities to help out the poor and diseased... those that are weak and don't get proper care from the society. I could work at a research center, a VA hospital, etc etc (my knowledge in this field is limited). I may earn less money than other private ODs, but I think it'd be more fulfilling. More than anything, I'd be more thankful that I could do God's work in a very specific way. I want to become a humble doctor, be more like Jesus, so that ultimately God would be glorified through my service. That'd be an awesome life to live, don't you think?

PS. Please don't get me wrong that I think negatively about private practices. I know many Christian optometrists and other doctors out there who run their own practice. I just don't think I'm called to do that...

Update2

Hello everyone who reads my blog. It's been a while, huh? I've been so busy with school, there was really no time to think & reflect. I'm getting used to having 3-4 tests every week (because I'm forced to). Library is my second home in Chicago. A lot times, I only get fresh air when I cross the street to get to school or go back to my dorm (5 seconds x 2 = 10 seconds per 24 hrs?!!) There's really no time to explore the city except for few hours on weekends (and sometimes, even that's a luxury). I admit school's pretty tough and it's completely consuming my life. BUT! I don't complain because I'm thankful to be here.

I had a random conversation with one of my friends (colleagues?!). I shared with him that I love studying biology because it points me to God. A lot of scientists out there believe in evolution and "big bang" theory... and they think that the Bible and science contradict each other. Personally, I don't believe in evolution, and I don't know enough about it to argue. Maybe it did happen to certain degrees, maybe it didn't. There's no way of knowing exactly how the earth formed and all that because I wasn't there...right? However, the more I learn about all the little details of the human body, and the nature itself, the more I'm amazed at the perfection and the beauty of them! An organ, a tissue, a cell, a protein, an atom, everything in the universe is organized in a perfect way, that if one tiny detail is off, everything gets messed up. There's no way everything happened by chance. For example, whenever I study for anatomy (the hardest class this quarter), I ask God "why did you have to make a human skull so complicated? Why so many holes? Why does this neuron have to take this specific pathway?" But there's a reason behind all that and I really doubt a human skull came together as it is by accident! (...that was a very nerdy example...anyway) All the detailed information that I learn in class confirms over and over again that God is the perfect, mighty Creator. I'm so thankful that He opened my eyes to realize that and be more drawn to Him through my education here in ICO. That keeps me moving forward, despite all the stress and hectic schedule I'm dealing with.

Update

Sorry I haven't uploaded this blog for a while. To be honest, I've been so busy with school, I totally forgot about it. My roommate and I keep saying, "I knew grad school's going to be hard. But I didn't expect to be THIS hard!" It's not that materials are too difficult to understand (for now)because some of the stuff we're learning are review for me (thanks, UCSD). It's the workload that gets us (and will possibly kill us). We have total of 27 exams (lecture+lab) this quarter. I just finished the first one this morning... so 26 more to go! On top of that, there are homeworks, case studies/research and paper.

My typical day goes like this:
wake up ~9:30
email/fb/study/hw
lunch 1-2
class 2-6
dinner 6-7
study 7-10
workout 10-11
study 11-2
sleep ~2

On Wednesday, I have 4 hrs of lab in the morning (9-1pm)


(this is my schedule for September. Red is exam, black is HW/case study, and green is etc)

Because of my hectic schedule, I haven't really had much time to explore the city. However, my classmates and I always find ways to get away from the campus/dorm on weekends... (Seriously, I've never enjoyed weekends as much as I do here)


(ICOlympics. It's like one of the major events of the school. 1st, 2nd and 3rd years compete with each other in some legit and some stupid games. I participated in hoola hoop contest and lost... haha)


(Chinatown, which is one train stop away from ICO. Chicagoans call boba "tapioca freeze". It's kinda weird.)

I visited Onnuri Church last Sunday because they have a downtown chapter. However, the service was in Korean and everyone seemed to be international students. I'm good with Korean but I don't know many Korean "christian vocabs". I'm going back this weekend for 2nd service (which is at 5pm :( ) because the head pastor will speak. Plus, 2nd service has older crowd compared to 1st service (undergrad students). We'll see how it goes...