His Calling

God's been burdening my heart for quite a while to think about my future. I continue to imagine my future, and try hard to fully grasp where I'm going. Honestly, I'm struggle right now... not because I'm failing school. Actually my grades are all excellent so far. However, I'm tired of studying constantly... and I'm losing my vision. I'm getting lost in all the exams and piles of responsibilities that the school's throwing at me. I'm getting antsy because finals are coming up (this Saturday.

Anyways... my dream. my goal. What is my goal for future? When I was younger, I had more tangible, easier goals, like getting into certain university and graduate school. Now that I'm here in ICO, my future as an O.D. is guaranteed. So I'm thinking, "what's next God? What should my goal be after I graduate?" I'm realizing more and more, through prayer, that His answer is and has been always simple. "work for My Kingdom and My glory"

ICO highly encourages students to get into private practices because that's 1. the fastest way to pay off debt and earn a lot of money; and 2.the best way O.D's reputations go up as primary health provider. I know that's a goal for almost all of my classmates/colleagues... I thought I would be one of them too, but for some odd reason, I'm getting more determined to do something other than private practice. I decided to become an optometrist, not for my personal gain. I don't need to be crazy rich and I don't need to have fame and reputation from the world. I just simply want to worship God through my work. So again, I'm thinking, what should I do with the education I'm receiving so I could be used by Him most efficiently?

God may change my mind in future, but for now, I want to go on doing residency after I graduate ICO. There are few reasons.. 1. I want to obey His calling to be a student, and excel in my studies (mind as well right?) - and good GPA is required to advance to residency (i think). 2. I want to specialize so I don't become just a general O.D. You see general O.Ds everywhere, but not that many specialists are out there. 3. For some reason, I think being a specialist would give me more opportunities to help out the poor and diseased... those that are weak and don't get proper care from the society. I could work at a research center, a VA hospital, etc etc (my knowledge in this field is limited). I may earn less money than other private ODs, but I think it'd be more fulfilling. More than anything, I'd be more thankful that I could do God's work in a very specific way. I want to become a humble doctor, be more like Jesus, so that ultimately God would be glorified through my service. That'd be an awesome life to live, don't you think?

PS. Please don't get me wrong that I think negatively about private practices. I know many Christian optometrists and other doctors out there who run their own practice. I just don't think I'm called to do that...